After soms elementary schools have started up again here in Europe, many of us are returning to our previous ‘normal’ lives. At our home the alarm clock buzzes again in the morning and we rush to be ready in time for school. It really is something to get used to again. The kids are happy to be in contact with friends again and the regained structure is good for the whole family. Even though for some it has been a tough time, and it is not over yet, we are feeling a bit of nostalgia at the same time for the serenity of the past two months. While observing this I started to wonder which aspects we actually want to hold on to after this Corona lockdown period. In no time we will be used to our old patterns again but what learnings can we take with us from this experience?
This is the question that I asked myself and my family.
We have a family meeting once per week, during dinner on Sunday evening. This is one of the Positive Discipline ‘tools’ that consists of a round of compliments, going over the weekly schedule and discussing certain issues, followed by a game of a special desert. It is a fun family moment in which we share and learn a lot from each other.
During our family meeting I asked the children what they wanted to ‘take with them’ from the previous two Corona months. To be honest I had hoped for a more thoughtful response than the response that they gave me. My son wished he could continue homeschooling and keep the extra half hour screen-time and my daughter wanted to continue with our PE classes that we had added to our daily schedule.
For myself the list of learnings has become a bit longer. I would like to continue doing my morning workout routine and to keep my mindful walks with the dog once a day; this is a self-care moment in which I consciously take a breath of fresh air and enjoy nature. On top of that I want to continue coming up with new creative activities to do with the kids. These playful moments have been the most valuable and memorable moments over the past couple intensive months at home. I also want to continue trying out new recipes and hold on to Friday night ‘date night’ with my husband (either at home or out). And I want to try and send a card to someone special once per week. But most of all, I want to keep giving my children and husband many hugs. As I said, it has become a long list…am I putting more pressure onto myself with everything that I would like?
How is this for you? What learnings of the past few months do you want to continue holding onto?
When I contemplate these questions I have to think of my father who has always spoken to us about the table with three legs: a leg for family, work and society. I actually notice that, for an optimal balance, I want to add a fourth leg to the table, so that it becomes a table with a leg for family, a leg for work, a leg for society and, very important, a leg for yourself and your partner.
In order to take good care of your family, it is essential to take good care of yourself! Only then you will be able to be the fun, energetic, caring, attentive parent that you want to be for your children.